Gone

Well, our first doctor's appointment was Thursday! It was the coolest thing to lay on the doctor's bed and see my precious fetus pumping it's little heart! Also, on Thursday I had my routine pap smear which every women looks forward too (ya right!). After the appointment the doctor said "you may spot, but that is completely normal". I never, ever, never, EVER spot after these things, but sure enough I did on this one. Then it kept going...Friday I cam home from work with cramps, but couldn't tell if they were gas or what. I called the doctor who said, it was probably fine, but if it gets worse in any way to call back. Yesterday it did, and I called, and before I knew it I was heading to the ER with the chance that I was having a miscarriage....I was losing my baby. I got tons of blood taken out, tons of questions that needed to be answered, and a lot of waiting that needed to be done, and then FINALLY we were off to get a sonogram...... The tech asked to me to go to the bathroom to empty my bladder so that they could see what was going on better. When I went to the bathroom I knew I lost it, I will save you the gross details, but let me tell you it was traumatizing and something I will never forget! Once back on the bed for the sonogram, the tech was looking for something I knew no longer was there, she took pictures of kidneys, stomach, uterus...EVERYTHING! Poor Luke was looking over her shoulder and I knew he was looking for the answers to the questions going through his head; the ones I already knew the answers too. Later we were back in our room and the doctor came to confirm the worst...we lost our baby! It was sad and still is sad, but 50% of women miscarry within their first 20 weeks, and the chances of miscarrying again after that are 1%....so as far as we were told there is noting wrong with me and we will be trying again! It just wan't meant to be for this little one to come into the world. It was an awesome 7 weeks, and I thank God for every second of it!