Doctors

Luke and I went to the doctor's (AGAIN) today and things are still going well. The tech chick seemed impressed that I haven't had any medication for this. I don't like taking that kind of stuff if I don't have too, and I really like being in touch with my body. So this has been some of the worst physical and emotional pain I have ever been in, but all I have taken is advil (and that I only took twice).

So healing and physical pain is going down, while it seems my emotions are going through the roof! I thought as hormones go down so don't the flair ups of emotions! I think I have been more emotional this weekend and today then I have been throughout the pregnancy and miscarriage! Crazy! Someone today asked me how I was doing, and sometimes I put my super cape on and say that I am doing great (which sometimes I feel strong and like I am doing ok), but this time I said "ok, getting there". Then the person asked how my heart was.....I almost bursted into tears right then and there! My heart....I think I have kinda locked that away while I was trying to deal with the physical pain and now it is bursting through those doors and consuming me! I wish it would just go back to being locked up! I feel much stronger when it is, and more in control with myself! Reality is I can't and so here I am a big ball of mush!